Red-light-camera districts

Lately, the Halfcookies metroplex has been filling up with red-light cameras. Everyone knows that these sinister devices have arrived to generate revenue, but the city works hard to play up the notion that they improve intersection safety as well. Whether a million or so anxious drivers—fearful of shortened yellows and steep fines—is more or less safe than a bunch of relaxed, “howdy, y'all,” drive-friendly-type Texans is open for debate. But here’s something that’s not: if the city really wanted to improve intersection safety, it could easily do so with a simple device. And it ain’t no camera.

The problem is, this device would not only help to prevent accidents, but it would also take a big bite out of the number of tickets issued. And that’s why we only see yellow-light countdown timers at a small number of local intersections.

Folks, if the city really did want to “combat the serious problem of red-light running,” it could outfit every intersection deemed dangerous enough to warrant camera monitoring with a yellow-light timer as well. From a driver’s perspective, timers are more effective because they promote safety before the fact, not after. When drivers know exactly when the yellow is a-comin’, they can get to a-slowin’ without having to make any split-second decisions.

But from the city’s perspective, a timer eliminates the “surprise” aspect of a yellow, which takes away some of the fun—and with it, a good deal of cash. In a camera-without-timer regime, the city’s intersections see an approaching driver like a slot machine sees a tipsy grandma with a bag full of nickels. Easy money.

We’re on the road here y'all, not at a casino. So I say as long as the city’s not supplying free drinks and extra oxygen, we shouldn’t be forced to spin the red-light-camera roulette wheel when we’re out behind the wheel. Let’s call the hall and let them know that if safety is indeed the top priority, a combination of timers and cameras is our best option. Law-abiding citizens won’t have to take a chance on a nasty fine, while those who do risk the safety of others (and their own) can be efficiently sanctioned.

In the meantime, I’m keeping an air rifle and a can of spray paint handy.